Ketchup.

I sorta got ahead of myself. Or behind myself, really.

You see, the thing is, we've been on this little "adoption journey" of ours for almost 4 months now. And I'm only just now getting around to starting a blog. Forgive me, it's been a bit busy around here, what with the adoption stuff and all.

Anywho...this post is so you can catch up. (Ketchup? get it?.......ha!)

In January, we went to a weekend workshop on open adoption, and signed up with the wonderful agency we're working with. That's them over there in the links section. We like them because they're social workers, and they care not just about us, but about the pregnant women that come to them for help, too.

I really believe they want what's best for everyone involved in adoption.

By working with them, we're ensuring that we, our child, and our child's birthmother will all have access to free counseling while the child grows up. Because our agency has good ethics, and a good head on its shoulders, we're also ensuring that there won't be any shady business in our adoption. None of that "semi-open" stuff.....a.k.a, you'll see the adoptive parents at first, but good luck finding them after the baby is born, because they won't tell you their last names or where they live.

When we say "open" we mean it, and so does our agency. Whoever chooses us will know everything she wants to know about us. That's how we want it, and that's how our agency rolls.

In February, we pretty much ran around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to get all of our paperwork together.

What kind of paperwork, you wonder? EVERY kind of paperwork. Seriously. Pretty much anything you could imagine...it was on the list. Tax records? check. Proof of insurance (house, car, and medical)? check. Physical exams for us? check. Physical exams for the dogs? check. FBI and state fingerprint clearances? check. References from friends...references from family....references from employers? triple check.

It was a lot of work. But you know what...so's having a child. People pitied us. They told us how it was crazy that "anybody could just go and have a baby", and that it was awful we were "being forced to do all this." It's not that we didn't appreciate the sympathy.

But, honestly folks....some woman out there is going to be considering us as parents to raise her baby. If I was her, I would damn well want to know that we'd been checked six ways from Sunday before I made such a selfless gift, and placed a baby in our arms. So, really, I'm ok with it. I'm more than ok with it. I think it's a good thing.

In March, we finished up with our adoption questionnaires. These were basically dissertations on ourselves, our childhood, our relationship, and our beliefs on parenting. Because we are open to adopting a child who's race is different from our own, we also got to do an extra chapter on transracial adoption.

Boy, oh, boy. I haven't had that much fun since grad school! Actually, I kid...grad school sucked. This wasn't that bad. The best part was that Amber and I--goody-two-shoes that we are--refused to look at each other's papers while we were writing. When all was said and done tho, it turns out we wrote pretty much the same exact things about our relationship and our parenting philosophies. Being on the same page is a good thing.

In April, we started on our "Dear Birthmother" letter. Whoooo....that was a doozy. In fact, I'm gonna save that ordeal for a separate post. Suffice it to say, it's kinda hard to fit your whole lives and everything that makes you special into 4 glossy pages. Not to mention finding the appropriate 12 pictures to illustrate your awesomeness.

Luckily, April also brought Amber's sister's wedding in the Bahamas. So we got the chance to blow off a little steam in matching cornflower satin outfits:

Like the prom photo we never had.

The newlyweds: Amber's sister & our brand new brother-in-law

Hamming it up with the bride.

You can't really tell, but we're doing the "running man."

(I can't believe I just admitted that.)

In May, we returned from the Bahamas and found out our paperwork had been approved by the agency and we were ready for the home study. That's probably going to be its own post someday, too. Spoiler alert!!...It wasn't nearly as scary as it seemed. The social worker was great. She loved our dogs, and seemed to genuinely like us as well. Our smoke alarms functioned as promised, and the baby gates and childproof locks we installed passed the test, too. So, as soon as the social worker writes her little dissertation on us, we'll be officially approved to adopt! It's exciting stuff.

In the last week, we also got our "Dear Birthmother" letter text and pictures approved by the agency.

So, onward! Into June, our next step is to get the letter designed, the website up and running, and our profile linked to the agency's website.

And we will be OFFICIALLY.........waiting. We've waited a long time to be "waiting," and we couldn't be more excited to get our wait on.

x's&o's,

Michelle

Sorta like "Juno".

I don't know if you noticed, but we're both girls, Amber and I. So, the babymaking was always going to be an issue. We knew that from the start. We're smart like that.

We thought about the logistics of how to have a child for a long time. Would I get pregnant? What about Amber? Maybe one of us could get pregnant using the other one's eggs? Was that even possible? Where would we get sperm? A friend? Some anonymous vial picked from a catalog? The possibilities seemed endless, really. And then we heard about this thing called "Open Adoption".

"Open...what?", you say. "OMG...she'll know where you LIVE?!", you gasp. "OMFG...what if she tries to STEAL the baby?!?!', you shriek.

Yes, yes, we know. Calm down, dear reader. Breathe. We promise, it's not like that.

It's like this.

Open adoption is our first choice as a way to build our family, because if we believe in anything, we believe in 1.) honesty, and B.) freedom of choice.

If you don't know already, you'll soon find out that I'm a big nerd. I love science, data, facts, statistics, and research. And all of those things have shown--time and time again--that the honesty that comes with open adoption is best for kids, and it's best for the women who have them ("birthmothers," "birth mothers," "first mothers"...pick your fave).

In open adoption, children grow up knowing how much their birthmothers loved and continue to love them. They know they weren't "given up" or "thrown away." They get to see where that cute little dimple in their chin came from, and who gave them their wonderful singing voice, or great jump shot. And, the birthmother gets to see those things, too.

Back in the olden days--before the internet and when people wore poodle skirts--pregnant women who were considering adoption were shipped off to "maternity homes." They didn't get to see or hold their babies after they were born, and the babies were sent away with adoptive families the birthmothers knew nothing about and would never meet. Back then, people thought women should just forget they were ever pregnant, forget they had a child, and just "move on." Back then, people thought they knew better for women than women knew for themselves.

Some adoptions still work that way. But, open adoption is the choice we made for our family, because we value the choice that the pregnant woman is able to make. The choice of which family she wants to raise her child.

We know we're the right family for someone out there.

We don't know who she is, or how long it will take for her to find us. We don't know how she'll know we're the right ones. We can't imagine being in her place, trying to make such an important decision. Maybe it will be our lovely smiles, or the fact that we live in a cozy little lake town, or because we named our fluffy white dog "Phil", just cuz it makes it us laugh.

But, something will catch her eye, or her heart, and it will be the start of a beautiful relationship.

For us, for her, and for the child we'll all love so very much.

x's&o's,

Michelle

With our little friend J. down by the lake.

Testing...1....2....3...

Ahem...[tap,tap,tap]...Is this thing on?

Ok, so we're starting a blog. Or technically speaking, I am. Michelle. That's me up there, with the longer hair, blue eyes, necklace. And the other one...shorter hair, big smile, glasses...that's my wonderful partner, Amber.

She'll probably get in on the blogging game eventually. But, mostly, it's probably gonna be me. I'm the bloggier one of the two of us, I guess. I heart me some internet...the blogs, the facebook, the funny pictures of cats. But, I never thought I'd have a blog of my own, and I'm not exactly sure what to say. But, here we are. So I'm going to give it a shot. Bear with me, folks. (Bare? Bear?...I don't know. Gah. Blogging is hard, already.)

So, what brings us here? Well, Amber and I are hoping to start a family. We've been together for 12 years, we have a great relationship, and we can't wait to love and raise a child together. We set roots down in Georgia over 8 years ago, and have a wonderful community of neighbors and friends. We own our home and both have great jobs that we love. We've known for a long time that we want to be parents, and now we are finally at a place in our lives where we're really ready and able to provide for a child.

And, this blog is going to tell that story. The story of how we go from "ready" to "parents" in...well, probably 1,257 not-so-easy steps.

C'mon along for the ride.

x's&o's,

Michelle

How adorable is little K.? So serious, and the cutest cheeks in town!