Sorta like "Juno".

I don't know if you noticed, but we're both girls, Amber and I. So, the babymaking was always going to be an issue. We knew that from the start. We're smart like that.

We thought about the logistics of how to have a child for a long time. Would I get pregnant? What about Amber? Maybe one of us could get pregnant using the other one's eggs? Was that even possible? Where would we get sperm? A friend? Some anonymous vial picked from a catalog? The possibilities seemed endless, really. And then we heard about this thing called "Open Adoption".

"Open...what?", you say. "OMG...she'll know where you LIVE?!", you gasp. "OMFG...what if she tries to STEAL the baby?!?!', you shriek.

Yes, yes, we know. Calm down, dear reader. Breathe. We promise, it's not like that.

It's like this.

Open adoption is our first choice as a way to build our family, because if we believe in anything, we believe in 1.) honesty, and B.) freedom of choice.

If you don't know already, you'll soon find out that I'm a big nerd. I love science, data, facts, statistics, and research. And all of those things have shown--time and time again--that the honesty that comes with open adoption is best for kids, and it's best for the women who have them ("birthmothers," "birth mothers," "first mothers"...pick your fave).

In open adoption, children grow up knowing how much their birthmothers loved and continue to love them. They know they weren't "given up" or "thrown away." They get to see where that cute little dimple in their chin came from, and who gave them their wonderful singing voice, or great jump shot. And, the birthmother gets to see those things, too.

Back in the olden days--before the internet and when people wore poodle skirts--pregnant women who were considering adoption were shipped off to "maternity homes." They didn't get to see or hold their babies after they were born, and the babies were sent away with adoptive families the birthmothers knew nothing about and would never meet. Back then, people thought women should just forget they were ever pregnant, forget they had a child, and just "move on." Back then, people thought they knew better for women than women knew for themselves.

Some adoptions still work that way. But, open adoption is the choice we made for our family, because we value the choice that the pregnant woman is able to make. The choice of which family she wants to raise her child.

We know we're the right family for someone out there.

We don't know who she is, or how long it will take for her to find us. We don't know how she'll know we're the right ones. We can't imagine being in her place, trying to make such an important decision. Maybe it will be our lovely smiles, or the fact that we live in a cozy little lake town, or because we named our fluffy white dog "Phil", just cuz it makes it us laugh.

But, something will catch her eye, or her heart, and it will be the start of a beautiful relationship.

For us, for her, and for the child we'll all love so very much.

x's&o's,

Michelle

With our little friend J. down by the lake.